The first few months of being a new mom pretty much sucked for me. I wanted to enjoy this tiny human I had created but I felt gross, I had headaches, she cried, I cried, I yelled, I was so sad, heartbroken, exhausted. She was so darn cute, how could I not be happy? Why was I not the ethereal goddess-mother with flowers in my hair, and a smile on my face, a beaming goddess that I always imagined I would be as a mother?
At 6 months old she was still waking 4-5 times in the night, nursing constantly day and night, which I loved initially, but it was the only way I could get to her calm down. She was cranky, hot and cold, I knew something wasn’t right. I watched the house crumbling around me, my face melting away as I looked in the mirror, I saw my light fading quickly.
Finally, we broke, we couldn’t go on like this, we had to do something!
I went on the search, reading books, blogs, asking friends and family, our pediatrician said: "Oh, yeah babies don't sleep for a few years – get used to it!"
Ummmm thanks for your help??
We found several extreme recommendations, either nurse her to sleep in our bed all night long and never leave her side, or close the door and let her cry it out till morning.
Neither of those were going to work for us. I reached out for help, did a ton of research on sleep studies, sleep and parenting philosophies, kept what made sense, and left what didn’t sit right with me. It was working. I felt myself coming back to life.
I finally had the confidence to put my child down for bed, knowing she would have a long restful sleep with minimal protest. I wasn’t fighting her anymore, she and I, working together to discover what worked for her. We continued our breastfeeding during the day between solids until she was 11 months old.
I knew if I felt this depleted, there must be other moms that felt the same.
How did I not know more about my daughter’s sleep earlier? Why wasn’t that a topic I learned in my childbirth classes? I had to do something to help my fellow mothers. I knew what I had to do, and set off on the journey to become a certified sleep consultant.
It lights me up seeing the difference I make in people's lives all over the world, supporting parents teach their babies good sleep habits to last a lifetime, and ultimately restoring mothers to their best goddess-y selves.